If there’s one thing to be said about weddings, it’s that it can feel nice to be invited to them. Sure, you have to spend a day with a family you might not know, go through a full formal celebration, and spend a good number of hours sitting around, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a nice time. Moreover, it’s a privilege to share someone’s special day with them, a day meant for joyous celebration and ultimately the joy of love.
But what if you’re hosting a wedding, and you’d really rather not invite that one individual, that one side of your family, or that colleague that wouldn’t fit in a special, intimate day? Well, it’s not hard to feel a little worried about that approach. After all, not being invited to your special day is a choice to be made, and people will know if you fail to do so. That said, inviting someone to your wedding out of obligation when you’d really rather not have them there is hardly helpful.
How do you balance this approach? In this post, we’ll discuss that and more:
Have Your Wedding Invites Prepared & Finalized
Before sending out invitations, ensure you and your partner have finalized the guest list together. It’s much easier to not invite someone when you know your final list, instead of keeping it vague. Go through each name carefully, as difficult as it may be, and determine who truly should be present for this deeply personal event. Once your beautiful wedding invites are sent, it’s hard to disinvite people.
Discuss Your Limited Wedding Size
For some guests who may expect an invite, have an honest discussion upfront about keeping your wedding intimate with only the closest loved ones. Explain you aren’t having a huge event, and while you wish you could celebrate with everyone, you need to limit attendees for this special occasion. Most will understand. Just make sure to be clear early.
Express Regret & Appreciation
When certain relatives, friends or colleagues inquire about not receiving an invitation, be upfront that due to the small size, you could not host everyone you care about this time. Don’t apologize or bend over backwards to “make it right” – this was your decision and it’s important to stand by it. However, you can express remorse at their absence, and appreciation for their understanding during this major life event. They’ll likely be a little swayed by your graciousness.
Offer Alternatives For Celebration
Someone might not come to your wedding, but you could suggest celebrating together another time, such as an engagement party before or a special dinner after the wedding once you’ve returned. This gives them an opportunity to still have fun with you and not feel excluded. Though of course, if you do want to exclude someone, this step is no longer needed. Just accept that you might not receive a wedding invite in return.
With this advice, you’ll be sure to avoid offering a wedding invitation to someone, but without causing too much offense.