The Downside To Wedding Dress Shopping

I was in two minds about writing this post. On one side I was thinking that really I shouldn’t let them win and give them the gratitude of knowing how they have affected me. On the other hand I know that I’m probably not the only person who feels this way. I can pretty much bet that this has affected someone else in some shape or form. I give you, the downside to wedding dress shopping.

Your wedding day, and the lead up is supposed to be one of the biggest and most exciting times of your life. On my blog, I have written a number of posts in relation to my wedding – to the planning, giving out advice, and documenting my views on why I have and haven’t opted to follow tradition. Every time I have mentioned to people that I am in the process of planning the wedding, they have almost always congratulated me and mentioned how exciting it must be to be planning the wedding. Of course, this doesn’t come without the stress of planning, but surely all of this can be worth it when it comes down to the big day?

I’m not here writing a post about how I am calling off my wedding, or anything like that, so no need to be worried. I’m here sticking up for all of us ladies that are damn proud of their body shape, for those of us who don’t follow suit on going on extreme diets. And I am targeting my post at you – the ladies in bridal shops who look down at us for being 1000% proud of our bodies. Why exactly? Because we don’t fit into your criteria of “the perfect bridal body shape“, and do you know what, you can stick your bridal shop and your snobbish staff, you can have fun tarnishing your own reputation with your overpriced dresses and I will happily take my money, and business elsewhere. God, I love me a good ol’ rant.

So let me give you a little backstory on things. I headed to two places this Saturday, which are like the home of Indian Wedding Shopping in London, Southall Broadway and Ealing Road. Now for those of you who are fellow Hindu girls, who know the problems behind finding the perfect lengha, you will know of these places. For those of you who aren’t, it’s basically just a strip of shops that sell ultimately, the same thing. If you’re ever invited to a hind wedding, and want to dress the part, these really are your places to head to. I’m also not someone who wants to jump on a flight to India just to buy outfits for the wedding, because to me, it’s just not worth the hassle.

So I made my way through the shops, nervously, as I’ve had a similar experience each time I’ve been shopping for Indian clothes. There’s always the look that the shop assistant’s give you of “how will she ever fit in any of these outfits“. And on picking an outfit you want to try on, you will always be asked what UK size you are – just there little way of actually giving you permission to try something on. To me it’s just a shameful and unnecessary way of putting someone down.

Anyone who knows me knows how hard I have worked to finally be happy with my body, from going through extreme ways to lose weight, to now following a healthy diet and exercise plan. I believe that I am in no way overweight, I’m your average UK size 8-10. I will never want to be any smaller than I am now, because it just won’t suit me. I will never want to fit into the size 4 or size 6 band, because that’s just not me. I know my body. It takes a lot work, hard work, to get my body into shape. I can bloat up and look like I’m pregnant just by eating the wrong food. I’m someone who will happily sit and eat a whole bag of peanut M&Ms because that’s what makes me happy. I’m not someone who will restrict myself from foods I want to eat, because I know I’ll just end up stuffing my face with cakes and biscuits if I do.

It got to a point where I actually did want to try one outfit on, and as I know my body shape and body type well, I knew the top wasn’t going to fit me. The skirt fit me like a glove, it made me feel like a Princess, which is what everyone wants to feel like on their wedding day. I did my utmost best to convince the sales women that there was no chance I was going to wiggle myself into the top. I have boobs and I do a hundred squats at a time with an 8kg medicine ball at the gym, there wasn’t a chance I was getting myself into this top. But I was persuaded to try it, just in case. Somehow I did manage to wiggle myself into this top, and by wiggle, it took me a good 5 minutes! The material felt horrible against my skin, it was digging into my biceps and was actually quite painful. This was not the feeling I wanted to have for my wedding day. Taking it off was a whole other area of humiliation and embarrassment. As it was digging into me, it took 5 of them to help me get it off, all the while they were tugging at the top telling me to keep calm, but knowing that their main priority was a £1,000 lengha top that I had just tried on. Irrespective of me telling them I was in a huge amount of pain due to their tugging.

Once it was off, I was left with bright red skin, which may I add was slightly cut on my arm, and not a single apology from the store. The sales assistant even went as far to mention that nothing in their range would work for me, and I should try another shop.

The point of this post, or rant, is really just a reminder to everyone – regardless of whether you’re getting married, buying something for a special occasion or just hitting the high-street. Be comfortable in your skin, with your body shape and love your body type. Embrace everything that makes you different and never lower yourself to the standards set by sales assistants who are obviously self conscious within themselves. Strut your stuff and be body confident. Never follow trend as to what someone says is the perfect body shape, because in all honesty and realistically, there isn’t one.

Oh, and on a last note, to those sales assistants, who I won’t mention the shop name for, you may have upset me and had your 5 seconds of humour, but I’m fairly certain it was just fates way of telling me I hadn’t found the perfect dress. I’m happy with my body, and you’ll need to do a lot more than throw a few outfits that aren’t made for me my way to knock that.